Sunday, February 05, 2006
10:05 AM
Yesterday was really a terrible day for me and im so glad that its over...
Everything was just wrong.. I was pms-ing horribly and ive got a gazillion kind of emotions running thru me.. Its that time of the month when i couldnt help but feel an all-time more emotional than i normally would be. Even the littlest of things would make me cry...
Fazilah said that im in an 'anti-guy' mode. Do u noe that PMS have existed even back in the caveman era? Long time ago, when cavewomen have their Big P, what they do is that they will stay in their caves and separate themselves from men as sex is not possible. It is all a hormonal thing. Naturally, when women have their Big P, the hormones in the body will give out some kind of anti-guy signals. So you will find that during this time, u become sort of irritated by presence of guys and their antics. So its more likely that they became the centre target of your mood swings if they are not careful. On the other hand, we are tolerant of girls, and this is the whole female-bonding thing as only girls can understand the situation. So its better to stick around with your girlfriends when you are in this 'anti-guy' mode.
And how true is that. I was so glad to see her yesterday.. Even hugged her tight and cried lah at the sight of her. Like i said, I was super-emotional. Littlest of things made me cry. On top of that, my mind was going in a thousand different directions.. about everything. It really doesnt help that I saw my old friend N. Though its been such a long time and i miss hanging out with him and A, he somehow made it worse. By going out with his scandal of 3 days. Without the knowledge of his gf, of course. And that became another direction that my thoughts went. You know, the whole "is-it-really-that-hard-for-guys-to-be-faithful" thingy.
I noe, I noe. I shouldnt judge all guys in that way. But like i said, super-emotional and anti-guy mode so this kind of thoughts cant be helped at that point. Whats more with my experiences with my prev BFs. They was never a time that any of my BFs have never lied to me. They would have at least once hide something from me. You know, i understand and i dont mind as long as its for the good of the relationship and does not involve other girls. Thats something that i will find it hard to accept. And its alright if the truth-hiding is like once in an important while. Thats something i can take but NOT when you do it all the time.. That would have made you a liar. And nobody likes a liar, what more to be with one.
The worst part of the day came at night when i found out some things that im not supposed to know from MD. And its related to a fren of mine.. I was so shocked. I will not elaborate but i will always remember. Nothing wrong? Trust? I dont know... All I know is that it hurts. Inside. Although its not really the tear-and-ripped-your-heart-apart kind of betrayal pain.. Its more of like, pain-that-you-cant-forget kind...
It is times like these that all you want is your mommy...
